You know, if imitation is the most sincere form of flattery then Evander Holyfield is one sincere son of a gun. Echoing their 1991 prize fight, Holyfield and Foreman are getting ready to be competitors again. However, there are no boxing gloves or boxing rings involved in this contest. This time we are fighting over........get ready for it.........griddles.
One article on Foreman's empire published in 2004 estimated that he had sold over 55 million griddles in less than 9 years. That's over 6 million griddles a year, which extrapolated out to current day would be over 73 million griddles. Holyfield must have figured that there was enough of a market out there to support two washed-up, brain-addled former champions. If you don't believe me, you can witness the sadness for your self here.
Now I take no umbrage with a man trying to earn an honest living. There is no doubt in my mind that George Foreman has earned himself a hell of a retirement. What I do take great exception to is calling a griddle a grill. If George and Evander are to be blamed for anything, it is for foisting on America the misconception that an electric griddle with a raised grate-like surface can approximate the magic brought about by an actual grill.
PT Barnum is often credited with saying that there is a sucker born every minute. That's as big a fallacy as the idea that you can produce anything grill-like on these ridiculous faux-grills. Before you go and spend $99 on one of these completely worthless contraptions, let me suggest you spend your money in a more judicious fashion. Consider the glory that is The Chargriller. Since we are at the end of the grilling season, these little beauties can be picked up for a song. I recently saw a gaggle of them outside of my local Kroger going for as little as $70 sans smoker box. With nearly 830 square inches of cast iron grill area, you can feed vast hordes of hungry people without consuming any precious electricity and you can look hella manly in the process. Chicks dig guys with REAL grills. Fire flames the loins. A Foreman/Holyfield grill is only going to inspire love in women who think a Twinkie qualifies as pastry.
Make no mistake - The Chargriller is no high end smoker. It is an Everyman smoker - affordable enough that the wife won't castrate you for purchasing it and fully capable of producing good enough BBQ to get you laid. Personally, I own two. I've managed to cater parties of 75-100 people with no difficulty at all. There is even a dedicated community of Chargriller lovers/experimenters/devotees that gather over at the forums on Steven Raichlen's website. They've modified this thing to the end of the world. It's cheap enough that you can tinker away with no fear of ruining your investment.
Break free of the herd of Cheeto loving, QVC zombies and choose NOT to buy yet another electric griddle. Go get yourself a man's grill. Buy a Chargriller. Thank me later. You can buy me a beer. I love Miller High Life. It's the champagne of beers, you know?