You got Bacon in my Chocolate Bar! The strange tale of Mo's Bacon Bar

     I stepped into my cube at the Monster Telco one unassuming Friday morning to discover that things were not as I had left them.  Someone had left me a gift.  I rubbed my eyes and refocused just to make sure that I wasn't looking at a mirage.  It was still there, beckoning to me to sit down and discover its wonders.  Mo's Bacon Bar.  Three sweet words.  Eleven sweet letters.  Could it be that someone had read my mind and decided to combine the two greatest flavors in the world?  It appeared so.  Sadly, I had just had breakfast and knew that I was too full to consume the bar immediately.  I wanted to savor this experience, so I set the bar aside and tried to begin my day at work.  Just to the left of my laptop it sat all morning, distracting me from all things Telco.  During the morning hours, I discovered who gave me the Bacon Bar and also why they had given it to me.  The Bacon Bar was a birthday gift to the wife of a friend.  Three of attendees at the party tried the Bacon Bar, but decided it was unfit for human consumption.  Before throwing it away, they thought "Let's Get Mikey!  Yeah!". 

At high noon, I bolted from the cube and headed over to see my chef buddies at Haven and Valenza.  I found Chef Matt, showed him the Bacon Bar, and asked him if he would be brave enough to try it with me.  "Heck Yeah!", he replied.  We each broke off a square of the bar and took a bite.  My head swooned.  I saw visions of pigs, and rainbows, and unicorns.  My taste buds cried for mercy.  It was too good to be true.  It was a perfect marriage of porky goodness, salty saltiness, and milk chocolate (dark chocolate never would have worked).  My only complaint was that the bacon wasn't evenly distributed throughout the bar.  Some bites were more bacony than others.  Chef Matt fell out of his chair onto the floor and began chanting in some foreign tongue - the only discernible word being "baaaaccccooooonnnn".  I knew he was enjoying it too, but I took advantage of his near paralytic state to consume the rest of bar by myself.

So, in my highly unscientific survey, the Bacon Bar was preferred by two of five people with their heads planted firmly on their shoulders.  I feel pity for the three remaining respondents who couldn't grasp the deliciousness of the salty-sweet treat.  It's not like it's a new idea.  These guys had a similar idea some time ago and look how well it turned out for them.  All Mo's Bacon Bar needs is a swell commercial and they could dominate the candy market forever.

Comments

[Jim Cain]

Now let's be perfectly clear. There were 4 of us that tried it. And didn't like it. And I get the salty/sweet combo. I get Salt and Chocolate. What I could not get my head around was the chewy bacon and chocolate. Now, give me a chocolate slimjim any day... Needs the spice!

[Tim]

Probably needed microgreens.